Despite what those whistle blowers tell you, Mark Zuckerberg is as brainy as a peahen, I should know!!

Stubby sore thumbs are red,
C3PO's nuts are gold,
my golf buddies will fund my wall,
and think Hillary's heart is cold

Those FBI moles are lying to you: my FANTASTIC Trump employees are as hairy as a dolphin!

Those Covfefe-sucking Obama cronies are as unconvincing as organic sliced bread!

Those Obama cronies are lying to you: my WONDERFUL FOX Friends are as unstoppable as Star Trek's The Borg!

Despite what those Washington insiders tell you, Bruce Springsteen is as authentic as Peter Ustinov as Charlie Chan, I should know!!

Despite what those media clowns tell you, Albus Dumbledore is as serene as Disneyland during spring break, BELIEVE ME!!

Those whistle blowers are lying to you: my LEGENDARY kids Eric and Don Jnr. are as intense as a brisk walk!

Despite what those Washington insiders tell you, Joseph Stalin is as brutal as a marshmallow, BELIEVE ME!!

Despite what those transgender troops tell you, Louis Armstrong is as innovative as a turtle, I should know!!

Southern states are red,
My underpants are gold,
my FOX Friends hate Obamacare,
and want their brethren paroled

Those DREADFUL Obama cronies are as unforgiving as a first wife!

Those CIA hardliners are lying to you: my GREAT diehard Republicans are as intuitive as Bayesian Reasoning!

Despite what those CNN liars tell you, Ilya Kuryakin is as loyal as Casanova, I should know!!

Nuclear launch buttons are red,
Coal miners' collars are blue,
my current/ex-wives are HIGH energy,
and make the French say SACRE BLEU

Superman's undies are red,
Varicose veins are blue,
my white supremacists make others look SAD,
and know I will never eat tofu

Despite what those whistle blowers tell you, Nicolas Cage is as brooding as a puppy, I should know!!

Those REGRETTABLE Mueller spies are as intuitive as swimming tied to a cinder block!

Despite what those CIA hardliners tell you, Jesus Christ is as pure as a virgin's first wet dreams, I should know!!

Those DISGRACEFUL CNN liars are as informative as a tree frog!

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