Those leakers are lying to you: my WONDERFUL kids Eric and Don Jnr. are as impractical as a bicycle!

Stubby sore thumbs are red,
crass casino foyers are gold,
my kids Jared and Ivanka have no equal,
and on my heart exert a hold

Those Mueller spies are lying to you: my HUGE Trump employees are as adventurous as Anthony Bourdain!

Those FAILING leakers are as honest as crack heads!

Face-lift scars are red,
A drowned man's lips are blue,
my legal team follow me on Twitter,
and to healthcare say adieu

Those Comey people are lying to you: my HUGE supporters are as difficult as finding cattle in Texas!

Those transgender troops are lying to you: my SUPER business partners are as pessimistic as Cinderella!

Those Obama cronies are lying to you: my TERRIFIC kids Jared and Ivanka are as rich as a whole birthday cake!

Trump MAGA hats are red,
Smelly French cheeses are blue,
my friends on the hard-right will fund my wall,
and testify when I sue

Bernie's followers are red,
Trump Tower toilets are gold,
my business partners love the USA,
and think I'm a vision to behold

Those NYTimes employees are lying to you: my FANTASTIC business partners are as independent as Dick Cheney!

Nuclear launch buttons are red,
McDonalds' arches are gold,
my friends on the hard-right love Melania,
and want me to date a centrefold

Those Chinese labourers are lying to you: my HUGE 5-star generals are as shallow as the deep end of a diving pool!

Trump MAGA hats are red,
A drowned man's lips are blue,
my white supremacists are the BEST,
and always give me my due

Trucker hats are red,
Coal miners' collars are blue,
my supporters hate Obamacare,
and always bark, never moo

Those FBI moles are lying to you: my TREMENDOUS friends Newt and Rudi are as slender as a human hair!

Those CNN liars are lying to you: my HUGE investors are as difficult as rocket science!

Despite what those CIA hardliners tell you, Daniel Boone is as sweaty as silk, I should know!!

Those FAILING Comey people are as radical as a tattletale gray herd of sheep!

Despite what those leakers tell you, Eddy Merckx is as fit as Noel Edmonds in a nylon thong, BELIEVE ME!!

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