Pinned toot

*Eddie approaches the mirror as his arm involuntarily lifts and clenches it's fist*

Venom: PoUnD iT EdDiE, pOunD It!!!

*Eddie fist bumps his other fist*

Venom: LEtS Go gEt SoME ChOCaLAtE aNd tATeR TotS!!!

Ever wonder if you're really you?
Or maybe you're just kinning certain aspects of those you grew up around

*Huffs a line of snow* WOOO!!!!!!!
WINTER'S HERE BITCHES

Cats be like.. it's coming up.. coming up.. coming up... ITS HAIR
*throws up*

You absolute noobs with your cat picks.. and claiming your's is the original... This... THIS... is the original pic of cats
and oddly enough, it includes a Mastodon

everyone shut up and post cats, i'll start with the FIRST cat pic ever taken

New product idea!
Anal beads.. but they're lollipops

The theme song for our exodus from Tumblr is "Deliver Us" from the prince of Egypt..
but it's in Content Aware Scale.

This site is just the durndest thing... You log on and everyone's all "HahaAha BONG!"
Log off for a bit.. come back, and everyone is contemplating making some tasteful nudes of Dave the minion...
I wouldn't be surprised if by the end of the day we're all devotees
of the newly founded cult of
Ants In His Eyes Johnson..
All of us tooting, "We.. we hope our prices aren't too low!"
Only for it to be replaced in fifteen minutes with jokes about Sonic on cocaine..
Mastodon is pure anarchic chaos

@nvabeach2 minion porn dropped by 17% but grock is still going steady

@sentiniel U.B.W.A.H.P.I.A.social

United.
Bottoms.
Who.
Agree.
Hawaiian.
Pizza.
Is.
Awesome.
I think our name covers our interests and beliefs.

I'm surprised the internet didn't thirst after Omuamua.. I mean, for a space rock.. it's shape was semi-sexually suggestive...
Somewhere out in the multiverse there's a dimension where the internet is still thirsting after the "Dildo of Azathoth"

Good morning lovely people... So tell me.. I've been asleep around 6 and a half hours..
which memes did I miss completely, and which memes are currently the BEE'S KNEES?

me: *went 5 years on Tumblr without gaining any sort of attention*

me after three days on this site: what the FUCK do you MEAN my last toot only got retooted once? this is un-FUCKING-acceptable

call the mayor

I dont even know what's going on anymore does my ass belong to bowser or does bowser's ass belong to home stuck idk

Honestly in less than 3 days tumblrs become a chore to go back to, whereas mastodon feels like a nonstop party godbless

[sound of glass breaking followed by sustained screams] hey did you see my HEY did you see my post

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